I was weeping as I knelt down in front of the kids I have been mentoring for the past three years. The reason is simple: One of them said so many heavy things and raised so many accusations against me. Why she is the way she is, why my prayers are not answered and will never be answered, why she will never learn anything again from me, why I am so partial but sugar coat love in talk and not in action, and so many other things that will make me emotional when I recall all that she said to me that morning.
As she talked, all the walls of my defenses crumbled and I picture the role I might have played in her life to make her so hurt, bitter, and depressed. I waited for her patiently to finish her allegations so I could talk but she pointed out that she don't even want to hear me talk to her. I realized that so many things have been going on wrong and my girl is judging me as guilty and responsible.
When she was done talking, I told her I am so sorry for hurting her this way. As I talked, I began to sop and my heart became heavy. I asked her to forgive me and then told her to leave my room. I tried to process all that had happened but couldn't control myself. I moved to the siting room and invited all the kids and told them I am sorry that I have hurt so many of them. My intention had never been to frustrate anyone but to see that they get things right and not repeat some of the mistakes I made when I was their age.
It is not about me, it's all about Jesus. I am not good in myself but weak and full of many short comings in different areas of my life. But in Christ Jesus, I see myself as an overcomer of all these weaknesses and strengthened to live above reproach by the Holy Spirit.
I am not going to play God in the life of anyone, but will point them to God. With this, my heart is no longer weary but rejoices in the spirit. It is not about my abilities to do things well or right but about Jesus living his life fully in me. He is the reference point in me and not I. I will never produce a type or kind of me but encourage everyone to see Jesus, desire him, model their lives around him and live like him in all ramifications of life.
I am not ashamed to say this again and again, "Not about me, It's all about Jesus" and the life I live now is his life flowing out of me.
Lessons from Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
- I have been crucified with Christ: I am dead so I no longer live in myself
- Christ lives in me: It is about Christ who lives in me
- I live now by faith in Jesus who loved me and gave himself for me
No comments:
Post a Comment